There are many quiet signs of divorce that indicate trouble is afoot. Learn what those signs look like and what you should do next here.
While divorces are happening less frequently than they have in 50 years for couples in the United States, that doesn’t mean they aren’t still happening every single day. When your marriage isn’t as strong as it used to be, you start asking yourself questions that are difficult to answer…
Do I need a divorce lawyer? Do I need to figure out how to file for a divorce? What do I do next to even get started?
If you’re asking yourself these questions because you’re wondering if your spouse is showing signs of divorce, it can be a very stressful situation to be in. Not only are you likely worried about losing your partner, but you’re also stuck with the idea of getting sucked up into a potentially difficult divorce.
Keep reading to learn some of the signs that you may want to look out for and what you can do next.
1. You Tell Harsh Jokes About the Other Person
Small jokes and teasing can be fun when everyone is on board and is enjoying the intercommunication.
If your jokes are constantly about how your partner never makes the bed or forgets to take the trash out, this can turn into a bad situation quickly. Further, if your jokes are attacking their character, such as calling them a liar or telling them they are lazy, this can easily become verbally assaulting.
It’s easy to normalize these behaviors if they happen often. It’s important to remember, however, that if both people involved are not laughing together at the jokes, this means they are at expense of one person. This isn’t fair to both partners, and it can cause high tensions, resentment, and disrespect in the relationship.
Masking mean intentions behind a joke doesn’t make it less serious. In fact, pretending like there isn’t a problem can make things worse.
2. You Have Negative or Limited Interactions Together
When you think of a happy couple, you likely aren’t thinking of a couple that constantly fights and doesn’t get along. If you and your partner can’t seem to find common ground on anything, this is a sign of trouble.
You may also have noticed that you used to fight a lot, but all of the sudden, the fighting has stopped. While this might seem like an improvement, it can actually be a sign that your marriage is in jeopardy.
It takes a lot of effort to get into an argument with someone. If you or your partner feel like it’s not worth it to argue anymore, this means that at least one of you has stopped feeling like they want to try to make the marriage work.
If you are ignoring your partner (or they are ignoring you), this is another bad sign. Taking the time to figure out ways to avoid each other shows that you don’t want to be around each other like a happy couple would.
3. You Don’t Care About Their Day
Are you less interested in just talking to your spouse about what they did all day or what happened to them? It’s easy to drift apart after being with someone for a long time, but to keep a marriage alive, you have to stay up to date with one another about what is going on in each others’ lives outside of the marriage.
Not taking the time to listen to each other or actually getting annoyed when your partner starts to talk to you about something is a sign that there are serious marriage concerns. When you’re noticing your partner rolls their eyes at you as soon as you begin to speak (or you do the same to them), you need to pay attention.
If you’re feeling like you just don’t care about the other person anymore, it may mean you should start looking at when to get a divorce lawyer. Not only is it not fair to your partner to be with someone that doesn’t want to hear their stories, but staying together can lead to anger and unhappiness for everyone involved.
4. You’re Fantasizing About Another Life
When you’re struggling to see your future with your spouse in the picture, this can be a subtle way to tell that you actually don’t want them to be in it.
For happy couples, it is usually much easier to see down the road that you are in a happy and healthy relationship with your same partner. If you’re unable to imagine this, it’s important to ask yourself why that might be.
If you’re also finding yourself daydreaming a lot about traveling alone or notice that your partner is having fantasies about being with someone else, this means that you or your partner is trying to escape from reality. This could be any situation where you or your partner want to “disappear” from the actual situation and be alone (or with someone else).
Another thing to consider if this is happening is that you may be suffering from depression. If you have children that could play a factor in the divorce, but they are not showing up in your imagined life, it may be worth talking to a counselor about what is going on.
5. You Don’t Call Them First When You Have News
Think about when something happens to you and you need help or emotional support. Who do you call or turn to first?
Whether something good or bad happens, most people know that they will call their spouse first to let them know what’s going on. If that isn’t your first thought, that could be a sign that your marriage is suffering.
Your spouse is supposed to be your support system. When you don’t have that heartfelt connection anymore, it can mean there isn’t adequate trust or warmth in your relationship.
Most people rely on their spouse for help when things go wrong (or go right) because they are deeply connected and need that extra support. Your spouse should typically be the first person you call when you get a promotion or when you get a flat tire if you’re going to call anyone at all.
When your issue is that you don’t think your partner is willing to help if you call them first, this is another bad sign. This means that they may not care enough about what is going on (or about you) to give you the help you need in a crisis or emergency.
What Are the Next Steps After Signs of Divorce?
After reading some of those subtle signs, you may realize that your marriage is in worse shape than you thought.
The next steps you take are up to you.
If you feel like you want to try to work on some of these issues, marriage counseling is always an option. Of course, counseling is not something that every person is willing to try, and if you or your spouse isn’t putting in the effort, it won’t help.
It’s a good idea to talk to your spouse about what you’re feeling.
You may find that they feel the same way or that they didn’t know there was an issue. If it’s the former, it’s time to talk about what you want to do next. If it’s the latter, it may be time to discuss changes that you can both try to make in the marriage to make it work.
Whatever you decide to do, it’s no secret that people in an unhappy marriage may decide to get a divorce. If that’s what your decision is, you need to hire a divorce lawyer that will work hard for you to make the end of your marriage as painless as possible.
Scott M. Brown & Associates are attorneys at law that can help you navigate the divorce process and give you the assistance required to focus on your future. We can handle divorces of any type, whether it is amicable or not.
What If My Spouse Does Not Want To Divorce?
If the marriage is truly becoming unbearable for you and you want a divorce, you may be worried about what will happen if your partner does not agree. Here’s our trusted divorce attorney, Scott Brown, to talk about whether they can stop you from filing for divorce.
Do You Need a Divorce Lawyer?
If you’re realizing that the signs of divorce you’ve noticed mean that it is actually time to get a divorce, remember that you’re not alone. People, such as the professionals at Scott M. Brown & Associates, are ready and prepared to help you handle the entire process.
Hiring a divorce lawyer doesn’t need to be complicated. We can help you with our years of combined experience to get the results of the proceedings that you desire.
Are you interested in working with us? If so, feel free to contact us today to talk about what your options are and take the next step toward a happier future.