Accepting divorce is no easy task but sometimes it’s the only healthy step forward. Learn some good tips for dealing with the emotions involved here.
When you’re going through a divorce, it can be challenging to begin picking up the pieces and moving forward with your new life.
Some things can be done when it comes to accepting divorce, although it may sound like an impossible thing to do right now. It’s achievable.
In this article, we are going to let you in on some ways that you can begin taking steps towards your future without looking behind you. It will take time, but we are sure that giving yourself time to heal, and the tips we’ll offer you are going to get you there in no time.
Tips for Accepting Divorce
When you first are told by your partner that they want a divorce, it can be quite shocking and challenging to process.
When the divorce is over, it can still present difficulties when it comes to understanding the things that have just happened in your life.
Continue reading to find out what steps to take to heal from this traumatic life event.
Stages Of Grief When Dealing With Divorce
There are various stages of grief that you may find yourself going through from the beginning of your divorce to the end of the proceedings. The first is the denial stage, in which you refuse to believe that your relationship has truly ended.
When you’ve become accustomed to a routine and your partner being apart of that routine daily, it can be quite hard to think about that routine changing for good. The next stage you’ll experience is the stage where you filled with rage.
Feeling anger towards your partner for giving up and possibly anger at yourself for not seeing it coming and not being able to change the inevitable. During this stage, you may find that the resentment your feeling towards your partner is growing and becoming stronger as time passes.
The next two stages go hand in hand, and they are bargaining and depression. This stage is when you plead with your partner to stay and promise that you’ll do anything to change and to make the marriage work, but when your pleas don’t move them, it can leave you sinking into a dark depression.
The final stage of grief is accepting that the marriage is over and moving forward with your life. This is the stage that we’re going to give you advice, and hopefully, the tips that we provide you will prove helpful.
Give Yourself Time To Grieve
With any healing, you must give yourself the time and space necessary needed to grieve. When you don’t mourn, it could be a sign that you’re keeping your emotions locked away deep inside, and all this will lead to is an explosion directed towards the wrong person.
When you grieve, it gives you a chance to say goodbye to a life that you once knew, and when you’ve finished grieving, you can say hello and welcome this new stage of life. When grieving your grieving the loss of a partner and companion, your grieving the loss of your home, grieving the loss of a complete family unit, and more.
Once you’ve completed the grieving process, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to let it go. It doesn’t do anyone any good if you grieve and then turn that grief into a never-ending cycle where you bring it up, reopening the wound.
Don’t get stuck romanticizing old memories that inevitably bring you back to that place where you feel depressed and angry.
Don’t Play The Blame Game
When the dust settles, and you’re finally able to think about the things that have just taken place, we encourage you not to start pointing fingers. Focusing on everything that your former spouse did wrong that brought the marriage to an end and how they could’ve done more isn’t going to make the situation better.
It may make the situation worse. Instead, we encourage you to focus on the things that you’ve got control over, and that is yourself. Focus on how you may have contributed to the marriage ending and the decisions you made that brought you all to this point.
Learning from the mistakes you made can help you avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships with another potential romance or your family members.
Forgive Yourself And Your Partner
The best way to let go of all of the anger that you may be feeling towards yourself and your partner is to forgive. Forgiving your partner to ask for a divorce is challenging, but it’s essential in the grieving process.
Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean that you forget everything that your spouse has done to bring the marriage to a close or that they get a pass for doing those things. It merely means that they happened, and you’re choosing that the past won’t control the future.
You should forgive yourself because you can play the “what if” game with yourself and try to think of things you could’ve done to keep it from happening. But, the truth is the divorce has happened, and you’ve made mistakes, but those mistakes won’t define or taint your future.
Don’t Expect To Jump Back Into Your Regular Routine
As stated earlier, grieving is a natural part of the divorce process, meaning that you also need to temper your expectations when it comes to returning to your daily life. You may find that you’re unable to get out of bed or feel unmotivated to complete tasks that you’d typically jump up to finish.
The thing about grief is we all grieve in different ways, and for some people, the only way that they know how to do this is to keep going. And for others, continuing with their daily routine is the last thing on their minds until they have moved out of this depression that they are currently feeling.
Lean On Your Support System
Having a strong support system gives you the strength that you need during a divorce when you feel as if you’ve got nothing left. Your support system will be there to remind you that this dark period of your life isn’t going to last forever and that you’ve got what it takes to make it to the other end stronger than when you started.
They’ll be behind you during the divorce proceedings and after the proceedings. Once the divorce is finalized during your time of grieving, they will be the shoulder to cry on and the open arms providing the hugs that you need.
Your support system is simply in place to be there for you when you need someone to help you up from the bottom that you’re sitting on.
Talk To Your Lawyer
It would help if you spoke with your divorce lawyer because they’ll play a key role in setting yourself and your children up for a better future. They’re part of your support system because they will be right next to you in the courtroom fighting for the things that you’ve listed in your divorce documentation.
They’ll be there during the nights when you’re confused and frustrated by documentation sent over by your partner’s attorneys. And will be the ones to help you make sense of the legal jargon that fills those papers.
Create New Hopes
We recommend that you come up with a few new hopes and aspirations that you can focus on when grieving a divorce. This is because when we get married, a lot of the dreams and aspirations that we imagine include your former spouse.
And at times, you may not want to do these things without your former spouse included. By creating new dreams, you can accomplish them without being reminded that the former aspiration was one you and your spouse came up with together.
Time To Heal
The thing about accepting divorce is there’s no set in stone way of doing it. For some people, a few of the things that we listed above will be helpful. And for others, all of the things listed above will prove to be beneficial.
Its really about you the person that’s going through the divorce and how you will process the events that just took place. If you’re looking for an attorney to represent you during your divorce, we encourage you to contact our legal team.
We have the expertise and knowledge that you need on your side when it comes to fighting for the things that you want in court.